These are the 3 life constants I wish I knew in my 20s.
“The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.”
What change will you embrace today?
How will you face your challenge today?
How will you put your ego in check today?
EVERYTHING CHANGES! — I love the comfort of my routines. I feel safe while doing my 9 to 5-job and returning home every evening. On the way to my safe place, I fetch my kids. They take a bath. We eat together. They get ready for bed. We tell them some stories. We tuck them. They sleep. We have our “us” time. We go to bed. The sun rises. We woke up. We have our breakfast. We dress them. We dress up. We drop them to school. We go to work.
I have had many regrets in my life. I wished things would remain the same when the world conspired in my favor. Yes, now and then, I wish things would change if I felt like the wind was turning against me.
We spend so much time and energy trying to keep things as they are. Our primal brain rules us. That part is the fight, fly, and freeze area that dictates most of our behavior. That is the part that creates shortcuts to save our energy. That is the part that always remains the same. That is the lazy part of our brain, making everything possible to keep the status quo.
Deep down, we know that change is the only constant in life. Yet we dupe ourselves into the fantasy of “Always the same” Neverland fantasy. We forget that we are here thanks to all the changes that happened before us.
Change has been the driving force from the big bang to our first breath in this world. Nothing remains the same. That is the way of the universe to hit the reset button. Sometimes the new state is in our favor. But, most of the time, we fear what is to come. It will disturb the peaceful monotony of our living.
Everything changes. Change is the only constant in life. Life loves to change everything.
LIFE SUCKS! — I could be a better driver. I am not a bad one, either. I am just average. I have always tried to keep my car free from any scratches. Well, I tried for so many years. The scenario is always the same. I have a car free from blemishes. I drive. I only sometimes pay attention to my surroundings. At some point, I will scratch my car. Other times, other people will cross my vehicle. I get upset. I bring my car to the garage for repair. I pay a lot of money. I am happy as my car got out of the garage. I pay attention to my surroundings for one month. Then I get sloppy. Then here it is again: a new scratch.
Things happen every day. Life is all about motion. Life is all about Murphy’s law: what can happen will happen. Therefore, we do not need to dwell on it when such a law hits us.
From the scale of the universe, we love to believe that there is an order. Most precisely, we secretly see that order as odd in our favor. Whenever it goes in the opposite direction to our expectations, we get angry or frustrated. Yet most of the time, by experience, we know that things rarely happen as we wish.
Entropy is the driving force of the universe. It has been since the big bang theory. If we look back, if we look closely, if we look deeply, we know that we have no control over everything, everywhere, not even once.
Once we embrace that not everything that happens will be in our favor, we are ready to move forward. Indeed we are more equipped with the reflection mirrors that will put us back into the perspective of the space and time we exist in. We are merely an atom flickering in the blink of an eye at the scale of the universe.
Life sucks. We can be struck by luck now and then. But, most of the time, we suck at predicting our life.
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU! — At work, I get frustrated when I say “Hi” to people when they don’t say it back. I get frustrated by a thing a friend, a family member, or a colleague says about me. I feel like I deserve it all, even if I did not put in the blood, sweat, and tears. I know that the Earth is not flat. I know that the sun and the other solar system planets are not orbiting around our world. I don”t understand the Earth flatteners at this time with all the evidence against that theory. Yet I am one of them. I believe that everything that happens in the world is about me.
Not everything that happens in our private or professional lives is about us. Yes, we experience the world as if we are at the center of it. That is true if we look at the world as our worldview. Yet we often forget to acknowledge that if it is true for us, it must be valid for the 8+ billion souls on Planet Earth today.
We are living more and more in a polarized world. Each day we look at events happening around us as an existential threat to our worldview. Yes, there are some places today where that is true to a certain extent. But for most of us, most of the time, things do not serve or enslave us. They happen just as the universe’s conditions allow them to be.
We need to take a step back between action and reaction. In that space is the most powerful force of our universe as individuals. Between action and reaction is our ability to pause, breathe and temper our reaction in the frame that it is not always about us.
It is not about you! You get rejected. It is not about you! You feel hurt. It is not about you! You will die today. It is not about you!
Every day, I remind myself that everything will change when I wake up.
Every day, when I feel fucked up, I remind myself that life sucks.
Whenever I feel like I have a terrible day, I remind myself that it is not about me.
Those are the three daily reminders I wish I could tell my 20 years old self if I could go back in time.
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You can read my previous article on The five rules to live by to master the dichotomy of control. (Friendly link)
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